Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
