I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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