According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
