Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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