This girl is more easily done than said...
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
