And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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