Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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