She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
