once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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