In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
it was like eating out sand paper
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
