just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
