I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
