is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
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