Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
