God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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