I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm sobbing to NWA
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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