I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
