Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
