I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
