Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I could fuck to npr.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
