I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
