you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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