not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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