i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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