apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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