Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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