there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
When are your genitals available?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize