Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
