people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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