i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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