hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
he's gonorrhea incarnate
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
