Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
