people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
