i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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