Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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