But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
