can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
