exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
