i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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