I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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