i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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