8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
