Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize