just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
