So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
