I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
