My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
