i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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