saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize