Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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