You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
