i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
dude i'm inner monologue high
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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