id be glad to
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Houston, we have a blender
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize