Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
