my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
