I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
