HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
