come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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