problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
