Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
